Unleashing The Beast: A Guide to Optimal Men's Health Secrets

It’s a stereotype, a fair one I might add, that men tend to be more aggressive than women.

Testosterone.  Men are known for it.  And the trouble it can cause.  Particularly its connection to aggression. 

I believe the answer to the question of how to limit the destructive potential of manly aggression is not to limit it, but to channel it. In fact, channeling this aggression healthfully is the secret to unlocking a man's potential!

Often I see men trying to restrict their aggression by simply burying it.  Parents, school, society, partners, and religion have had their roles to play in teaching us men to say, “NO!” to our aggression.  Plus we see how much it hurts others when we attack them, physically or mentally. 

Little boys get their aggression squashed early.

What happens? As in the movie, Anger Management, that aggression shifts inward. Shame, negative self talk, grumpiness, and self punishment make his inner world feel like a gauntlet of death.  Instead of it being outwardly destructive, it becomes inwardly destructive. Ironically, the inward aggression still ends up being outwardly destructive from the way it makes us cower, withhold, and avoid.

Another consequence is bodily contraction.  It’s as if the body goes into physical combat mode for absolutely no reason.  The testosterone is just itching for a fight, a kill, and a feast following the kill.  So, the muscles flex, the jaw clenches, the eyes harden, the digestive system churns, and the system gets hot.  It’s as if the body is going to fight whether or not you choose to utilize the aggression.  It’s like a wet dream in the absence of a conscious ejaculation.  In the absence of proper channeling, we become medical and social liabilities due to all of the heart attacks, diabetes-induced obesity, and substance abuse. 

Aggression turned inward.

Why fight the fight?  I say, USE IT! 

Men these days need to celebrate our innate aggression!  We’ve been shamed for it because we’ve had bad role models and highly public figures who have given us men a very bad reputation.  It sucks, but it’s real.  We carry stigma these days.

But throwing out the baby with the bathwater, overcompensating for our aggression by being just SOFT is inauthentic, gross, and a thorough divestment of one of our greatest gifts- healthy aggression. 

Healthy aggression results in presence, clarity, good boundaries, the ability to commit and love. It gives us voice, action, the power to set aside feelings (especially needs for comfort), and the courage to defend with our very lives, if the situation calls for it.  I am so grateful for these gifts.

Unflinching presence; gift of healthy aggression.

However, that healthy aggression cannot happen if we squash our aggression in whole.  It also cannot happen if we let the aggression run unchecked and unchanneled. 

What are we to do?

The excess aggression needs to burn off.  Our day and age is less physically demanding.  We pump out more aggression than our situations demand.

We are still cave men in body but living in a plush, fast food kind of world. 

So, we must channel the excess.  Now to the best question yet: HOW?

Answers:

1.      Exercise.  I’m not talking about a walk.  I’m talking about heavy sweat, heavy weight, long distance exertion. 

2.      Sports.  Competition with others or oneself.  Satisfy that lust for overcoming and the gentle release called humility.

3.      Martial arts. Vent the bull energy on the pads, bags, and sparring opponent.

4.      Hard labor.  Dig, chop, carry, lift, pull, tip, drag, climb. Alter the physical environment.  Move Earth.

5.      Sex.

6.      Meditation.  I’m serious.  But I’m not talking about meditating for peace or a quiet mind.  I’m talking about consciously moving that rage in your cells out of your body through your energy, breath, and visualizations. 

7.      Checking off the To Do list. “Kill” the shit that needs done. Revel in the victories.

8.      Radical presence. Be fiercely present with whomever you’re with. No bullshit allowed. Honest and to the point. Feel what you feel and do not blink.

9.      Fishing and hunting.

10.  Dance. Again, I’m serious.  But I’m not talking about salsa or slow dance or cha cha slide. Check out 5 Rhythms dance, certain flavors of ecstatic dance, or even a mosh pit.

Getting out the aggression!

As I write this I find myself judging what I’ve written as macho, lop-sided, extreme.  Aren’t all men more than what you’ve described, Gary?  Heck yeah! I pride myself, actually, on the integration of my feminine, softer sides.  I’m a therapist, after all, and am very gentle with my two daughters.  What I’m saying though is that this energy inside of myself and, I believe, most men, is real, relevant, good, strong, potentially dangerous, and demands us to be responsible with it by channeling it well.

If you or a man you know resonates with this and would like to join other men in pursuit of a better self, check out my Men’s Goal Group, starting June 13th. 

What do you think about this? Comment or write me if you feel so inclined.  contact@wildwaysintegration.com

Unleash the Beast!